I'm not going to promise to be good at writing, in fact my writing skills are definitely lacking. But sometimes we need an outlet to jot down our thoughts, to progress and document new skills, or even to learn something new about ourselves. So here I am, a 24 year old British girl who's currently travelling the world.
You know I didn't always appreciate life, I took parts of it for granted, especially during my teenage years. I never felt truly content, in fact I constantly felt like something was missing from my life. I lacked passion and drive, I felt stuck and to be honest sometimes I definitely still lack in motivation. Procrastination was dominant for a long time but the only thing I could find my self pushing towards was to work. Every pound I earned was one more that would contribute towards getting out of England and exploring places I'd never left footprints in.
See I find it hard to focus my thoughts, I can't seem to keep my head aiming high unless its something that I would regret not doing when i'm 80 and potentially struggling to get from one room to another. And to be honest if anyone is like me then they understand how it feels to want something so bad but just feeling like they're incapable of reaching it. I was this girl. I put myself down and for a long time I never put myself first. Not that it's a bad thing but I don't think I kept my mental health peaking at its best. So I decided; when my previous relationship came to an end that it was time, time to focus on me, time to be sensibly reckless and live freer. The thought of it was liberating but very nerve racking. If theres one thing you should know about me its that I can be a tad bit anxious (ok well a lot anxious) and I definitely enjoy the feeling of being in control. Travelling was going to be a chance to let that go and quick frankly just say "Fuck It Why Not" whenever my brain went "mmmm i'm not so sure you should do that".
So I started in Europe, Spain to be exact, I was nervous but getting on that plane alone and booking a one way ticket was the most intense feeling. In fact I believe it took me around 5 hours alone just to press the confirm button to book the flight. However, I saw the most amazing places, I went from Spain to Austria and Austria to Italy. Trying new foods, learning new cultures. I even met a guy who i'm now very happily loved up with.
So who am I now?
...I'm still learning everyday.
I started that trip back in August of 2019. We are now in August of 2020. Have I changed? Yes 100%. There is still a lot that I want to work on, particularly a more wholesome thought process. But thats ok, because as many Australian surfer dudes would say "Life's a journey and its all about riding that wave". For what I do know, I'm happy.
コメント